I figured I should write something. Its been over a week. I am trying to be a part of society again. So I am trying to do things and stay busy. I am still suffering nightmares and I wake up every night. My nightmares are never about Markus but of other people abandoning me. Mostly Tim saying "Yes I did settle for you and I no longer want to be with you... go away". Just like that. Every night. Terrible thing to have in my mind. Terrible thing for Tim because they are my dreams and not his but I feel its coming. I hope there is comfort coming soon. Something huge and significant that will make a positive impact on my life.
Anyways Markus, I love you.
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