Valentines Day

Its Valentines Day. Mans worse nightmare and Womens daydream day. I am a romantic. Tim however is not. Today is a day he panics and tries to avoid all together. I have spent many Valentines days crying because Tim ignored it all together. I know its kind of stupid to cry about not getting a card or flowers. I just don't have a romantic husband. I always kind of hope every year he would try. A home made card. I love letter. Something in that nature. I don't get many gestures of love or why I am important to him. It is just not his nature. I always hope Valentines day could be that one day he would go out on a limb and say it. Its not that he doesn't love me. I know he does. He shows it differently though. He works hard. He lets me be me. He supports me.
We are broke right now. That is okay. We are always broke. I had always told myself that I rather be broke and homeless and truly in love then to be rich and miserable. Money helps a relationship in the way that the stress level goes down when all the bills can be paid. So instead of buying a card and chocolates like I usually do for Tim on Valentines day I made him a card. I also made Red Velvet cupcakes from scratch and cream cheese icing from scratch. Our love languages can be so different but you can still express your own.


Tim proposed to me on Valentines Day 9 years ago. It was the most unromantic proposal. I really should make him redo it. He threw a box with a ring at me when I was lying in bed mad because he wasn't going to do anything for me on Valentines day. He said "so you wanna get married or what". I guess it wasn't the dream proposal I had in my head. I pictured a picnic and flying a kite with him going down on one knee. Oh the hopeless romantic in me. I have probably watched too many Disney films as a kid.

Even with a terrible proposal and a unromantic guy Tim makes me smile. When he reads with the kids. When he plays my little ponies with Ava or plays games with Jacob and Liam, my heart jumps and skips a beat. This is the Man I love. I love this guy. I love his smell. I love his eyes. I love his laugh. I love his kind heart. I love his touch. I even love his stubbornness. I love him. So he may not be romantic and I may have many years of disappointing Valentines Days in hope some part of him could possibly get romantic. It doesn't really matter because I am in it for the long run.

Anyways, I love you Tim